hinagiku85's blog

痛い！！！！

It`s been so long since the last time I got serious bruises.

When you`re 23 and fell from a bicycle, it`s not funny at all, but I laughed until I cried ^^;

I was trying the bike after my dad replaced some of its parts, and like 20 m from home, I made a sharp U turn and fell unceremoniously. Mom heard the BRUGH! sound and looked outside and she laughed and called the whole troop outside to laugh at me together. I laughed so hard I can`t get up, mom had to help me and my sister carried the bike.

It was morning, I was on pajamas, and it happened so fast and when I realized I already splayed on the ground. I heard `Ouch` from someone in the house that I fell in front of. And a lady with groceries in her hand kinda dazed for a moment looking at me.

...

It was funny.

 

I thought to post the pictures, but my left knee looks really gross and I`ll refrain from crushing anyone`s appetite.

Lack of Sleep Makes Me Do Weird Things

Like looking through past posts...

Look what I found, I`m Oracle! :

 

March 24 2007 :

Now that practically everyone gushing over Propose Daisakusen (which I absolutely sure will be a big hit, cause if anything that has Yamapi and Nagasawa Masami-chan in the same production doesn't become a hit, I don't know what would, and not only that, it also has Fujiki Naohito and other gorgeous members), I'll try to make a prediction of the story.

It's pure prediction, I haven't seen anything.

I think Yamapi will through a lot during the time slip, but in the end he will let Masami-chan marry Fujiki-san anyway because he thinks Masami-chan would be happier that way.

But, this time Masami-chan is the one who don't wanna get marry and she get back with Yamapi. 以上。

Ah, what did I babble about?

 

Hohoho

 

I really should sleep ^^;

A Wish

I want Oh-chan to sing an angsty ballad song which shows the beautifulness of his voice for Maou opening soundtrack.

 

(this is so random ^^;)

50% of My Prayings Were for You Guys Anyway

Oh, God.

Sho fractured some bones below his thumb in this morning`s rehearsal T_T

T_______________T

 

And I heard Nino is ill?

T_______________T

 

I think the busyness finally took its toll on them. I mean, Sho-chan`s schedule in a week is like, News Zero and its Olympic corner, VS Arashi, Shukudai-kun, Himitsu no A-chan, now plus concert rehearsals and then the preparation for 24 hour (did I miss anything?).

 

Not that I complained. No. This is what they want and injuries are the so-called `risk` as a performer. I just need some justifying for myself that this kind of things happened. It won`t be life altering. It`s something that they`re supposed to be ready for (like it or not). Assure myself that it`s still in the range of `okay`, although it`s not okay for me and for the rest of fangirls worldwide.

 

There.

These things happen.

 

I can`t do anything about it and can`t help them in any way visible. Being emo would not help and I`m at my worst when I`m emo since it affects everything.

 

I think I`m going to cry.

 

But…

these things happen.

 

Now pray!

どんだけ！

Yesterday was my dad`s birthday.

I was asking my sister if there`s any Dir en Grey member`s birthday in June, since I have Nino`s to celebrate and doing a double celebration with her always means more fun.

And we realized we haven`t got any gift for Dad.

And we rushed to the mall despite of the fact that we both just got into the house from campus and workplace.

...

What kind of daughter am I?

*weeps*

Dream

Blog is really something amazing. You won`t know how something that you wrote can touch other people.

A lot of things going on lately, I was forced to think about the future, was forced to admit my limitations, and even if until now I still running after my dream, I start to question myself is this what I really want? A thick mist of confusion people would have to deal with once in a while is surrounding me now.

Then I stumbled to this blog, while looking something for my assignments. Daunsingkong.blogspot.com.

This is a blog of an Indonesian woman who just recently had gone back to Jakarta from living in Tokyo for 5 years (completing master degree and working for about 2 years), she blogs in Indonesian and this particular post caught me :

 

“I`ve always want to be Ally McBeal. Have a cool job as a lawyer, a sophisticated office downtown with amazingly romantic night view, wearing sleek suits, buy a cup of starbucks before entering the building… every imagination about a cool career woman.

 

Well, I didn`t end up a lawyer, but what`s written in my business card was enough to put people in awe. Though I wasn`t sure whether they actually understand anything about my profession.

 

For the last 2 years, I am totally aware that my office is located at one of the hottest spot in Tokyo. Not to mention the night view, even the day view often made me dreamy.

 

Unfortunately, I don`t go to the office in suits, unless I had a meeting with client. My office let their employees wear casuals, and I found myself more comfortable in ordinary shirts than formal suits anyway. And I never bought starbucks or anything though the 10 minutes walk from the train station to my office includes passing 2 starbucks, 1 tullys, 2 doutor and some other cafes. The thing is, I can`t drink coffee. Even if I drink in the morning, I won`t be able to sleep that night. So I never drink one, or just bring the paper cup for style.

 

So, for the last 2 years, my lifestyle was close to Ally`s. I`m luckier, since I don`t have any love problem.

 

But human is basically insatiable… or rather I am insatiable…

 

I never thought my life as `cool` at all…

 

Behind my awe-inducing profession, behind that hotspot office, I am aware that I`m just another employee with salary that barely make ends meet for living in this metropolis, and I have to fight laziness every morning, especially when I know that I won`t talk in my mother tongue all day.

 

Few times I got emails asking how does it feel to work in Japan. For me, the answer is one : hard. Hard because I can`t express my feeling freely since I can`t use my mother tongue, hard because Japanese culture itself won`t let me express my feeling freely, hard because I had to give the best service with super polite language to the clients though they asked for the impossible, and above all : hard because my family is faraway…

 

A total of 5 years I had lived in Japan. Short, since I still can remember my first day stepping on Narita. Short, but had made me lost a lot of things. I wasn`t there when my youngest brother went to highschool and graduated, when my other brother graduated from college, to be told that my dad had undergone the surgery instead of will, when my mom got posted out of town for years, and when my family mourn together when earthquake shook Yogya…

 

Almost 6 years I lived in a dream. Ten years before, all of this was just an imagination. Same as everyone who read this blog now and desires to live abroad.

 

This dream world surely demand a lot of sacrifices…

 

And now, it`s time for me to go back to the real world…

 

To my homeland…

 

To start running after another dream…

 

And to fill the space that gone all this years, as a daughter, as a sister, as a woman, as a wife…”

 

 

Dream is something delusional sometimes. You see it sparkling with every beautiful colors in the world and then you run after it and you catch it and you live it and suddenly it`s a real world, not sparkling anymore. That`s why the most important part of a dream is the process of reaching it, that`s where the happiness lays. And to make your dream come true is another path towards happiness, since that`s when you`re supposed to start running after the next dream.

 

So I won`t complain, dear God (not in public, I mean).

 

 

 

Ps : Maan, I miss you and I will reply as soon as I`m not dead anymore. I have to go to Jakarta tomorrow, wish me luck! (luck is all I have now, hahahahaha)

It`s supposed to taste good ^^;

I saw Rajikaru with Jun in it, so I had to make this

 

Jun`s recipe

Banana, kiwi, orange, apple and soy milk.

I should`ve known I won`t like kiwi juice. It leaves some weird taste on my tongue. I`ll stick to soy milk for morning.

 

Anyway, I want to thank everyone with their con reports that brightened my day m(_ _)m

May everything goes well until the end of the tour!

If Only I`m Smart...

I won`t start watching the anime Ghost Hunt since it`s about ghost and mystery and ESP and exorcist and I should`ve know I`ll watch all 25 episodes in 1 day.

I love it! It`s like Conan with bonus of Christian and Buddhist and Shinto chants. 

Now if only I can get rid of the nightmares...

 

 

I love it how I can pretend I`m not having any deadline whatsoever and watched 25 episodes of anime and tried to memorized chants and already thinking of watching Dororo or re-watch Yasashii Jikan for the ~millionth time.

 

I`m doomed.

 

And have to stop watching anything with Ikewaki Chizuru in it since for all her great acting ability that amazed me so much, her movies are depressing T_T

Saying Goodbye with Aiba-chan`s `Friendship` as BGM Really Helps A Lot

I have to let go one of my best friends to Japan today. To pursue her dream. To prove to everyone that she can.

 

Since like a month ago, I did countless farewell parties with her. Everytime both of us have spare time we`ll go somewhere and claimed that was a farewell party. She leave tonight so I was practically stalking her phone the whole day, texting her like `where are you now?` and `have you eaten?` and calling her. She will board the plane in 1.5 hours so I just called for the last time since maybe now it`s the time for family and she won`t let me go to the airport(in Jakarta) anyway.

 

People usually take Tia for granted since she`s so nice and child-like and everyone judged her as a dependant person. She`s actually the type that naturally child-like outside, but if you look at her closely, you`ll understand how she would strive on her own until she can`t take it anymore and had to look for help. So much better than those people who put a brave mask but quickly turn to others the minute they meet an obstacle. I respect her for that.

 

She`s unbelievably nice, always ready to help, a good listener, a good person, an adorable and funny little sister.

 

My days with her were days of gossiping and talking about teachers and school and `Look at that cute one at nearby table! Not that one! Beside him!` ; of smells of sushi and maccha milkshake and our favourite donuts.

 

It`s quite amazing since we`re different in almost all aspects, for instance, she`s not even close to liking any Japanese music/dorama which defines me a lot. Our biggest commonalities are food and the fact that we like each other so much.

 

5 years is quite a long time. But it`s nothing compared to the time we`re going to spend together from now on. Because I have a hunch we`re going to stick together forever no matter where we are.

If it`s you, I know we will.

 

Babbling

This is originally an entry in my diary after I watched Hanamaru Cafe with Sho in it:

2008/04/21

Hari ini aku liat Hanamaru Café dengan Sho jadi tamu-nya.

It was…

It was…

I was teary eyed. To see such a perfect person.

痛い位負けた。

I lost to him so much it hurts.

Dia definitely tumbuh di salah satu lingkungan terbaik, liat aja kedekatan dia sama keluarganya. Sms jalan tiap hari karena they can`t see each other but they care and I can understand perfectly when Jun once said `well-bred` to describe Sho.

Aku seneng banget liat the kind of relationship Sho punya sama ibunya. I had always thought maybe she`s strict and demanding or whatever, tapi to be a mother who stays up late to see her son`s news corner and to comment through text mail everytime and to make sure her son knows that she sees it everytime her son chews his words on national television, only one conclusion : she rocks! Hahaha

The text message cracked me. `Ah, you did it wrong ^^`, and the bomb picture afterwards…

How I want to have a cup of tea with this Middle Age Literature sensei and ask her how to raise kids properly.

God, doesn’t it scare you how high Sho`s expectation of women must be?

 

A good son, a good brother, a good friend (I don`t know how he found time to hang out once a week with his Keio buddies ><)

He`s dedicated, his work ethic is unbelievably good, he believes in what he do, well, things that describe Arashi members anyway.

But, but…

He`s all I ever wanted to be.

He has every… I don`t know, `human factors`(?), that I don`t have.

 

I don’t believe in following standards that other people put up. But looking at Sho, I can`t help thinking, isn`t it the right way to face life?